kayla aimee: only slightly neurotic

FAIL: Publix Sweet Tea

I'm southern, y'all. You know I would never say a bad thing about sweet tea unless it was entirely merited, right? Okay.

So Publix has some of the best sweet tea ever, and in picking up my deli sandwich for lunch I decided to grab a small bottle. About halfway through something in the ingredient list caught my eye.

That's right. That says CARAMEL COLOR.

Now here is the problem. Whenever I make tea, it just automatically comes out caramel colored. I don't add any sort of coloring to it to make it that color. Teabag, water, sugar. Stick it in the sun and bam. Sweet tea. I've been making sweet tea since I was old enough to carry the pitcher out to the back porch and I'm pretty sure that I would be considered an expert on this subject. So what I want to know is, what in the heckfire did Publix do to this tea that made them have to add something to it to RETURN IT TO THE COLOR THAT IT IS IN NATURE?

I find this incredibly disturbing.

Funny southern quirks aka weird things I say and do

• Asking for a "coke" and pointing to the carton of Sprite. I love that we call every soft drink coke. I don't know why I love it, it's just one of those regional things that makes me feel all homey. Whenever I travel outside of the south and hear someone say "soda" or "pop" I feel all antsy and slightly homesick.
• Some southern people say "Didja eat yet?" meaning "Have you eaten?" but my family says "juh eat?" because we can't be bothered to speak proper southern slang.
• I say "tuh" instead of "to" and "headed" instead of "going." I am not sure why this is. Jeff will say "Are you going to the store?" but I say "Are you headed tuh the store?"
• I feel very strongly that a house is not a home until you've transplanted wild honeysuckle into the yard. Bonus points if you dig it up off the side of the highway.
• I don't believe in air conditioners. To me, proper cooling of a house involves opening all windows and doors and turning on the attic fan. Our new house will not have an attic fan. I am not quite sure how to deal with this. This theory does, however, explain why I never learned to work a thermostat correctly.
• All communications via a walkie talkie type device must conclude with the phrase 10-4 Roger Dodger.
• The Bumpit has been ordered for my 26th birthday. All good southern girls have big hair.