It's a known fact among the people that have been in my life for a lengthy period of time that I have the potential to become one of those people you see on the TV show Hoarders.
Jeff casually mentioned to me the other day how he was telling his co-workers that if left to my own devices, I'd end up being spotlighted on A&E for my hoarding disorder. Then we had a nice chat called "Acceptable Things To Tell Your Co-Workers About Your Wife." In case you are wondering, "She's pretty" and "She's really pretty" are both acceptable things to tell your co-workers about your wife.
It's also acceptable to tell a female co-worker who may or may not be flirting with you that if she continues said flirtation, then your wife? She will cut you.
I'm revealing my hoarding tendencies to you as context for the following conversation. This is what my marriage sounds like:
Jeff: Do you think I should throw out this old Sara Lee keychain?
KA: It's broken. Throw it out.
Jeff: Yeah, but it was my dad's so I'm thinking I should hang on to it to remember him by.Wait, is that hoarderish of me?
KA: Well, I would keep it. Which means that it's definitely hoarderish of you and you should throw it out.
Jeff: Yeah, you're right. Besides, I have a lot of other things to remember him by.
KA: Right. Like the fact that HE IS STILL ALIVE.
