tongue in chic journalings

teardrops on my guitar

Loving this song lately. It reminds me of how I felt senior year of high school, when I was in love with my best friend and my best friend was in love with another girl. It makes me smile now, I started playing guitar that year simply so that he could be the one who gave me lessons. When I pick up the guitar now, I feel so incredibly happy that the person who taught me to play is still sitting next to me. And loves me now. It was so bittersweet back then. It's so fulfilling now.

2001

2007

the one where I crack

My husband is a gamer. As in, he plays video games. Specifically Halo 3. So he has these gamer friends, and they call each other and then all get online and play their video games at the same time. I can not appreciate this because none of my hobbies include calling up a bunch of my girlfriends to do said hobby with me. Unless of course, you count shopping, which I totally don't seeing as shopping is not a hobby but a necessity.

These gamers, they have this routine where they first call our apartment. I don't even know how they know our apartment phone number because I've lived there 10 months and I don't know it. Then they call my husband's cell phone. Twice. Then the apartment again. Then my cell phone. Then his cell phone again.

It very much annoys me because obviously, if we didn't answer the first time calling each of those three numbers, we are clearly avoiding you. And by clearly avoiding you, I definitely mean that we are most likely either A) eating dinner or B) engaging in activites of the newlywed behavior.  Unless, this routine is taking place at 6 o clock on a Saturday morning in which case WE ARE SLEEPING.

It's not just the gamers though. It's the advent of cell phones in general. Now that people have cell phones, no one just gives up when you don't answer your house phone. They just keep trying. Back and forth, calling one number then the other, until I am so fed up that I pick up the phone and bite the head off of the guy that just happened to be calling Jeff for a totally legit reason. And who now thinks Jeff's wife is a total psychopath as evidenced by his trembling "I'm really, really, really sorry" and "Dude, I totally pissed off your wife" to Jeff.

After enduring 10 months of this, I've decided to record a new outgoing message on all of our phones.

"Hello. You have reached the Terrells. We're not answering the phone right now because we are married, and we have married people things to do that are more inportant at the moment than getting up to answer the phone. Please leave a message, one message, on this particular phone. Because if you call each of our phones repeatedly and leave messages on all of them, I swear to all things purple that I will rip the XBox out of the wall, throw it over the balcony, and then go outside and run it over seventeen times with my car. Have a fabulous day. Amen."

checking for monsters under my bed

I keep waking up screaming in the middle of the night.

I do not know what is causing this.

I do that if it continues, my husband might resort to smothering me in my sleep.

Right after we got married this happened alot. Not him smothering me in my sleep. The waking up screaming thing. About two or three times a week. Now I wake up screaming about every other week, and sometimes I wake up crying hysterically. Jeff used to wake up and hold me and say sweet things to me. Now he just rubs my back, only he's all half asleep so he's actually sort of hitting whatever he thinks might be my back.

But the other night I screamed so loudly that he jumped straight out of bed and ran half nekkid into the hallway. He does not remember this incident. But I do because when I stopped screaming, my first thought was "He LEFT me!"

So anyways, I keep waking up screaming in the middle of the night and I have no idea why.

And now I'm really tired.

CHALLENGE: But I Can Locate The US On A Map

It was my week to host one of the challenges  at Scrap In Style Tv as a part of this month's boutique celebration.

The winner of the challenge is getting a prize pack from SIStv of Glitz, BamPOP!, Advantus, American Crafts, Hambly Screen Prints or Tinkering Ink! You can play even if you are not a member of SIStv. All you have to do is upload your layout to the SIStv gallery, title it Kayla Aimee's Challenge, and link it on the message board under Week Four Challenge. Registration is fast, easy, and FREE!

My challenge is this: Top Notch Titles

Lately I've been title focused. I realized I was spending all this
time on a page and then adding a title as an afterthought. Then, there
would only be room for a few letters and I'd slap a "LOVE" on there
and call it a day. When I started scrapbooking my wedding, I realized
I was going to either come up with some better titles or be stuck with
20 pages in my album titled "LOVE." So the challenge is this: 1)You
must use at least 5 words in your title and it CAN NOT be song lyrics
or a quote. That's right. You have to come up with it all on your own.
2) Your title must stand out in a way that it is obvious it is the
title. You can't journal on the layout and call the first line of
journaling a title. I know all the tricks, people. :) Good luck!

Here is my example. Can't wait to see yours!!

overheard

The following is a conversation between my sweet flower girl and her mother

The Scene:
3 year old Bella is standing on the bathroom scale

Bella: "Mommy, can you tell me what that says?"
Bella's Mother: "That says you weigh 40 pounds"
Bella: "Oh. My. God. You're kidding me."

Complex.

People who have been reading my blog for a long time know that my relationship with Jeff in a romantic sense developed incredibly quickly. I was fresh out of a long term relationship, angry, confused, and hurting when Jeff came into my life. I am constantly amazed that Jeff pursued me while I was still working out the pain of the last relationship.

I didn't leave it well. Like I said, I was angry. I was beyond angry. I felt betrayed. So I decided to cut off communication with my ex. I felt insulted that he wanted to be friends. Friends don't do to each other what he did to me, I said.

Over time that pain eased. I grew in my relationship with the Lord. I fell in love with Jeff.

I wasn't hurting anymore. And I wasn't angry. But I still felt like I didn't want to be friends. Because I didn't really know this person anymore. And also, because I was in love with Jeff. And I would never want to do anything to cause him pain, including being friends with someone I was in a serious relationship with prior to him.

And when my ex didn't understand that, I was so frusterated. It made me even more angry that he thought he deserved any sort of position in my life. Who was he to tell me I was wrong to deny him friendship? How could he be so disrespectful towards Jeff?

More time passed. Jeff and I got married.

This week Pregnant Tiffani and I ran into my ex at the mall. I always wondered how that would go if it happened. Would he still be angry with me? Would I say hello to him? I saw him coming, and surprised myself at how I felt. I didn't feel anything. Not that I expected to have feelings for him, but I didn't have any feelings of frusteration, or anger, or well, anything. I thought about how I had just heard he was engaged and got ready to say hi and congratulate him on his recent engagement.

And he stopped, looked me in the eye, and then spun around and walked off.

That is when I felt something. It made me angry. And then it made me sad. And then confused.

Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I confused being friends with being friendly. Maybe I tried so hard to cut him out, to keep myself from being hurt again, that I forgot about how I want to be Christlike. Maybe I felt so justified in my actions that I forgot about having grace. Maybe he walked away from that relationship 3 years ago with a different picture of  me than I wanted him to have. 

It's confusing, having walked away from the relationship the way I did. I was only 21. I probably did a lot of things wrong. I could probably stand to make a lot of apologies. I think I will rest in knowing that I am learning from it now. Learning to have more grace. Learning that I could do with a little less of a need for validation in my life. Learning that friendliness is not the same as cultivating a friendship.

Learning it's okay to say hello in the mall and not feel like you are doing an injustice to that time you lived by the rules of the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye."

But now, at this point, at the end of the day I am no longer a person responsible for her own actions. Jeff and I are one. I will never do anything to threaten that. And so, I choose not to have close friendships with men, even though I know Jeff trusts me. And so for that, for that I am not apologetic.

So I hope that maybe, in his heart, he knows that the person that left that relationship was a broken one. And knows that when she was put back together, she had a lot more grace.

And if not, I will let that be okay too.

Because if I'm honest, when it comes to who I am as a person, I only want the approval and admiration and attention of my husband.

And boys in malls, well, they are just boys in malls.

Ripped Off

I took them from my airplane controller friend Adrienne's blog

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) -
Skooter Cavalier

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) -
Sweet Cream Gingersnap

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) -
K*Ter (Aww man, my old one was K*Fox. Way cooler)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Asparagus Kitten

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) -
Aimee Marietta

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) -
TerKa (See, FoxKa was way cooler this time also)

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) -
The Grey Cream Soda

8. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) -
Romance Junior Mint

9.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ) -
Jane Ross

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same
letter) -
Atkinson Atlanta

12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) -
Christmas Gerbera Daisy

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothingyou’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”) -
Plum Vestie

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) -
CHicken Biscuit Willow

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) -
The Scrapbooking Snow Tour

Why You Shouldn't Try To Hard

So today I thought I looked really cute.

I bought this new dress, a trendy jumper sort of dress.

It is red.

I pulled out the black leggings and a little white tee shirt.

A black headband.

Black ballet slippers.

And spent all day feeling really cute.

Until I came home and caught Jeff looking at me.

"What are you looking at?" I asked

"Your outfit" he said

"Isn't it cute?" I asked

"Yes. It's very you. Except..."

"Except what?" I asked, knowing he hates my ballet flats and expecting him to tell me that he hates my ballet flats

"Except, honey, you look like Minnie Mouse."

So I went and looked in the mirror.

DANG IT!

The Girls

When I was in the 9th grade, I met three girls who completely changed my life. Not that I realized this in the 9th grade, because in the 9th grade we were preoccupied with boys and how to get out of lunch detention and boys and Friday night football games and boys and clothes and boys.

We're all completely different from one another. Tiffani is genuinely sweet, the sort of sweet that gets you voted prom queen.  Natalie has the sarcastic sense of humor that frequently causes us to say "you can only ever say that to us." And Laura Anne is so shy that she was mortified the first time I carelessly changed my clothes in front of her. Me, well the girls call me firey. I am not sure what they mean by that, because obviously I am the most awesome one of all of us.

We're nothing alike.

And we're everything alike.

Over the last 10 years these girls have become "the girls." No one refers to us by name collectively anymore. Even our parents just refer to us as "the girls." We have our own language now, 10 years of inside jokes and heart to hearts.

Somehow, something happened for us. Somehow, we were so blessed.  It's not your typical friendship. It's so much deeper than that. It's so much more than singing stupid country songs  in the middle of Buckhead on our way to Cafe Intermezzo, or wearing matching t-shirts emblazoned with Joey's Angels to the scariest looking place ever. It's having them take turns taking care of you after your surgery. It's calling them (yes, each one of them) at 2 in the morning to tell them about your first kiss with Jeff. It's going to Target to have serious talks. It's being in each one of our weddings.

I remember that when Dan and I broke up, I didn't go home. I drove straight to Natalie's house, curled up on her bed, and cried for two hours straight while she just held me.

I remember being scared while nannying overnight and Laura Anne driving up to stay with me.

I remember waking up to Tiffani taping Bible verses to my mirror in college to help me with my self esteem issues. 

I remember at a church retreat, waking them all up at 4 in the morning to tell them I had dreamed I was going to marry Jeff. 

I woke them up a lot about Jeff it seems.

Over the last 10 years, these girls have become my family.

And now, two of us live in different states. And soon, all four of us will be in different states.

But this weekend, we flew Laura Anne in for her 25th birthday and Natalie came home too.

And we only had about 8 hours to spend together.

And in 8 hours, we talked, and we laughed, and we cried, and we prayed.

8 hours to cram in everything we've missed together since December, the last time we were all here.

8 hours.

And then this morning they were gone again.

And I miss them so much already.

I cried all day.

class act

It's not uncommon at my house to find little slips of paper with non-nonsensical sentences scribbled on them floating randomly around my house. I am the sort of person who needs to remind themselves of things frequently, like that we need more milk or that I have plans for dinner with a friend. I even purchased some of those crayons you can write on the shower walls with thinking I would leave married people messages on the wall for Jeff, but usually use them to let him know there are leftovers in the fridge for lunch. Otherwise, I forget to tell him, then I forget about the leftovers all together and am stuck cleaning unrecognizable goop out of the fridge. I have problems remembering things, obviously.

I also tend to leave myself inspiring little messages, particularly on the mirror when I am struggling with my self esteem, or  at my scrapbook table when I need some creative pick me ups.

And sometimes I leave little Bible verse around when I am wanting to work on something in my character.

So like I said, random slips of paper with random  messages on them are common occurences in my house. Jeff pretty much started ignoring them when he found the "you overdo the self tanner" message on our bathroom mirror.

But this one particular note laying on the kitchen counter this morning was bothering me.

It read, "KA, you have class"

Did I mention I write notes to myself in third person?

Anyhow, I was totally stumped.

I mean, I think of myself as a reasonably classy person. I am southern after all. And I couldn't think of any situation that had occurred lately in which I thought maybe I had reacted to something in an un-classy manner and wrote myself a reminder that I do, indeed, have class.

I just walked into the kitchen to refill my drink and saw the note again.

CLASS.

I signed up for an online design class.

And I didn't want to forget

That it was at 7pm tonight.

It is 11pm.

CRAP.

I am so illogical.

Like Miss America, only not.

Part of the fun of my job is getting to help judge the photography contests at local elementary schools.

Yesterday I was flipping through the entries for this year's theme which is "How We Can Make A Difference." On the judging scale, how well the theme is represented is a large percent, higher than just the quality of photography. Mostly cause these kids are in elementary school.

The picture was of a kid handing a dog something.

A green something.

A dollar bill.

The kid was handing a dog a dollar bill.

I looked at it closely, trying to figure out if maybe the kid was buying the dog from like, a dog shelter. Because that would be "Making A Difference." I even thought that maybe the kid was trying to feed the dog a dollar, because maybe the dog was really hungry and the kid was like "here eat my dollar" and that would be very selfless and I suppose that could possibly be "Making A Difference." Or possibly the dog was a Helping Hand dog and maybe he fetched the kid a burger and the kid was tipping him a dollar, which could sort of, kind of be "Making A Difference."

But it was just a kid's arm, handing a dog a dollar.

Finally, I flipped the print over and read the title.

"Dogs Are Nice And We Should Be Nice To Them."
By Unnamed Child in Second Grade (blind judging, we can't know who the kids are)

At first it made me laugh that this kid thought to himself "Self, we should be nice to dogs, because you know, dogs are nice. How can I show that in a photograph? Oh I know! I'll give the dog a dollar! I think people who give me a dollar are nice. Yes, that will definitely be the best way to show being nice to dogs. It's a much better idea than taking them on a walk or feeding them. KaCHING!"

Then it made me sort of sad that this kid chose giving money to a dog as an example of being nice to dogs. And then I thought about how our society had too much focus on money. And about how money is the root of all evil. And that I know this because I use a PC and they are far more evil than MACS. And also, that I know Bill Gates has enough money to fix this, and yet he went and made Vista which, in point of fact, is purely from the devil.

But then I remembered that if someone gave me a dollar I'd be like, "A dollar! You are so nice! I can put this towards buying a MAC! Or a boob job!"

So, you can see how I was sort of stuck on judging this entry.

Finally, I concluded that it was possible that perhaps the boy was buying said dog from Michael Vick, in which case it actually would be "Making A Difference" and should quite possibly be blown up and made into posters and sold to collect money for the kids college fund. Or a BMW.

And so I believe that this entry will be receiving an honorable mention.

Besides, it made a total difference in my day.

Conversation on an airplane

I just got home from Houston. Jeff and I flew to Houston last week. I was very happy that Jeff flew with me because I'm not so fond of flying. When I fly, I need to hold on to someone's hand when we're taking off. And also when we're landing. And anytime the plane makes a funny noise. And that can get awkward, like how on the way to Chicago I flew alone and had to hold the hand of a total stranger. And older man, traveling on business, who very politely indulged my hand holding when I fastened my seatbelt, took a few deep breaths, turned to him and said "Sir, I'm going to need to hold your hand for a minute in order to prevent myself from keeling over and passing out in your lap due to my ridiculous fear of flying." Jeff learned about this when our pilot decided he was a good enough pilot to fly us through a storm of impending doom and I hung onto him for dear life. Literally.

"Honey, you are KILLING my hand" he said.

"Yeah, well at least you're my husband and will be rewarded later. The poor guy that sat next to me on the way to Chicago got nothin."

"YOU HELD A STRANGER'S HAND ON THE WAY TO CHICAGO?"

"Um, yeah. That's what keeps the plane in the air Jeff."

He shook his head, "You are totally weird."

"As long as we don't crash and die, I'm okay with that."




In other news, I did the hybrid tutorial for Digi Shop Talk's Insider for October. Check it out...

It's a small world after all

Yesterday I went over to my sister in law Stephanie's house to play Aunt KA for the day. While Neice Baby Hayley was passed out in my lap, I was flipping through Steph's baby pictures to see if Neice Baby Hayley looked like them.

"Hey this must have been a popular pattern in the 80's Steph. We had that same exact couch!"

As I'm flipping through the book, I'm going "Steph, we had those same curtains. Oh and we had that same piece of furniture. Only my great-grandad made ours. He was a carpenter. That's weird that your parents had one."

And then we get to a picture of a guy on the couch. Steph as a baby is sitting on his lap and he is playing peekaboo behind the pillow with her.

"Steph. I know are thinking I am totally weird. But I am telling you, that looks just like my dad."

"Really?" She says

"Yes. I mean I know you can't see his face, but I am telling you, I would swear that is my father. And that cat? We had a cat that looked exactly like that one!"

"Really?" She says, this time in an okay-KA-is-totally-weird type of voice

So I flip through the next few pages when I suddenly I yell "STEPHANIE! THAT IS MY MOTHER!"

"REALLY?" She says, sounding less sure.

"Yes. This is my house. Those are my parents. That is my cat."

So I call my dad.

"Dad, did my mother babysit for a little girl before I was born?"

"Yeah, she did. There was this one little girl with light brown hair that totally loved me. What was her name? Maybe Stephanie?"

"YES, it was Stephanie. As in MY SISTER IN LAW!"

So we call Steph's mom too. Turns out, my mother used to babysit Steph at our house before I was born. Our parents only met briefly with wedding stuff, and since 26 years have passed, they totally didn't recognize each other.

How crazy that my parent's babysat the girl who was going to be my sister in law 26 years before we would ever find out?